4 weeks to go and I'm busy buying gifts, wrapping up work stuff, checking things off of the "things to do before I go" list. My joy at the thought of being home is growing by leaps and bounds. Skype is becoming a less and less satisfying way of communicating with the people I love. Each moment with my host sisters is feeling more and more precious. Its a process of letting go and moving forward.
And of course, because this is me we are talking about, I've been pondering my fair share of deep thoughts. How did this year go by so fast? Has it really been a year since I've see all the people I love and rely on most? How have I changed? Will people see a difference? How should I say goodbye? Where am I headed? What will the future be like?
I think I most struck by how many absolutely wonderful people I have in my life, here and at home.
Here, I'm blessed with a host family, co-workers, and friends who love me, encourage me, put up with me, and laugh with me all the time. They will be hard to leave behind.
At home, I have great parents and family who are preparing to welcome me back. I have friends who have been in my life since elementary school and probably know me better than anyone besides my parents. I have friends who I met at Whitworth scattered all over the US now, but keeping in touch.
That's a lot of people. People who have changed me, loved me unconditionally, been an example to me, and argued with me when I needed to get over myself. I'm so, so grateful. It's an amazing blessing to know so many great people, now spanning two countries. So as I enter this time of transition, I'll be thinking of all of you. With you supporting me, how could I fail?
On a lighter note, here's 10 things I'm looking forward to besides people:
1) Driving my car again, who I am rechristening "Mabel" because she is getting along in years
2) Drinking a glass of milk- a lifelong daily habit that I have had to put on hold
3) Sleeping with a comforter, snuggling up in my bed
4) Sleeping in past 8am
5) Moving to Seattle!
6) Having an oven at home- eating food that isn't fried or boiled
7) Eating salad- uncooked veggies, yum
8) Wearing jeans
9) Wearing jackets/sweaters- being cold in general
10) Having the ability to wear my hair down without it being disgustingly sweaty by the end of the day
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Reverse Culture Shock
6 weeks. Only 6 weeks until I leave Cambodia, 7 or so until I arrive home.
So, I'm thinking about coming home. The process of coming home. Because its not just stepping on a plane, traveling a grueling 30 hours, and stepping off in the good ol' US of A. Its a much more psychological, symbolic journey than that. Just like leaving home was. Here's what I know:
- In September, I'll be moving to Seattle with my good friend Amanda and several of her friends. We'll have a lovely house and hopefully I'll have a lovely job to pay for it.
- I'm excited to see friends and family again. And to know all the social cues in any given situation. And to speak the main language of the place where I live fluently. For some parts of life to be just a little bit easier.
- I'm nervous about finding a job, re-establishing relationships, and going through a period of transition.
- I'll miss Cambodia. A lot. Last night was the first time I realized just how sad I will be to leave here. To leave people here. To leave all the laughter and friendships and adventures behind.
Everyone knows that when you move to a new country, you usually experience culture shock. There's the beginning honeymoon phase of wide eyes, the following crash of missing home and being confused, and the eventual adjustment to a new way of living and thinking. And the various ups and downs that follow. Most people would be surprised to hear that, according the experts, the same thing happens when you return to your home country- Reverse Culture Shock. You would think that everything about returning home is easy- familiar people, food, language, etc. But the thing is, your life in a new country changed you. In ways you can't even quantify. And home looks different. Some people say that re-entry is actually a much longer process than moving to a new place. Typical side effects include: being increasingly negative about your home country and forgetting positive things about being home, being increasingly positive about the country you lived in and forgetting the negative things about living there, taking all this out on people at home,withdrawing, being overly emotional, etc. Your best weapon is recognizing that this is all going on. It happens to everyone and it seems the best thing you can do is give yourself some grace and get through it. Know you're not crazy for wanting to go overseas again.
So basically, what I am saying is- I'm warning you. I don't know how much all of this will effect me or if it will be really noticeable. But I do know that I feel somewhat disconnected to life at home. Not from the people I love, but from the me I was before I left. And I can't figure out why. I can't label what has changed about me, but I expect it will become more clear after I come home. I'm not sure how I will be the new me back in my original context. So I promise- I love you all, I'm dying to see you, I want to be home again- but I might be a little crazy for a few weeks. Thanks for the grace. According to one book, the best thing friends and family can do is to just listen while I complain and pass me another bowl of ice cream. Good advice I think ; )
So, I'm thinking about coming home. The process of coming home. Because its not just stepping on a plane, traveling a grueling 30 hours, and stepping off in the good ol' US of A. Its a much more psychological, symbolic journey than that. Just like leaving home was. Here's what I know:
- In September, I'll be moving to Seattle with my good friend Amanda and several of her friends. We'll have a lovely house and hopefully I'll have a lovely job to pay for it.
- I'm excited to see friends and family again. And to know all the social cues in any given situation. And to speak the main language of the place where I live fluently. For some parts of life to be just a little bit easier.
- I'm nervous about finding a job, re-establishing relationships, and going through a period of transition.
- I'll miss Cambodia. A lot. Last night was the first time I realized just how sad I will be to leave here. To leave people here. To leave all the laughter and friendships and adventures behind.
Everyone knows that when you move to a new country, you usually experience culture shock. There's the beginning honeymoon phase of wide eyes, the following crash of missing home and being confused, and the eventual adjustment to a new way of living and thinking. And the various ups and downs that follow. Most people would be surprised to hear that, according the experts, the same thing happens when you return to your home country- Reverse Culture Shock. You would think that everything about returning home is easy- familiar people, food, language, etc. But the thing is, your life in a new country changed you. In ways you can't even quantify. And home looks different. Some people say that re-entry is actually a much longer process than moving to a new place. Typical side effects include: being increasingly negative about your home country and forgetting positive things about being home, being increasingly positive about the country you lived in and forgetting the negative things about living there, taking all this out on people at home,withdrawing, being overly emotional, etc. Your best weapon is recognizing that this is all going on. It happens to everyone and it seems the best thing you can do is give yourself some grace and get through it. Know you're not crazy for wanting to go overseas again.
So basically, what I am saying is- I'm warning you. I don't know how much all of this will effect me or if it will be really noticeable. But I do know that I feel somewhat disconnected to life at home. Not from the people I love, but from the me I was before I left. And I can't figure out why. I can't label what has changed about me, but I expect it will become more clear after I come home. I'm not sure how I will be the new me back in my original context. So I promise- I love you all, I'm dying to see you, I want to be home again- but I might be a little crazy for a few weeks. Thanks for the grace. According to one book, the best thing friends and family can do is to just listen while I complain and pass me another bowl of ice cream. Good advice I think ; )
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